Malak Mattar, Untitled (detail), 2024, charcoal on paper
Essay Fragment: Moral Model of Disability
| xxxThat winter we kept xx | xxxfinding the wings xx |
| xxxof pigeons pulled from their sockets. xx | xxxViscera deleted xx |
| xxxby the rain. A symbol xx | xxxstripped of its meaning. xx |
| xxxWorry bead mistaken xx | xxxfor a pebble. My mother xx |
| xxxwill not admit to our history xx | xxxheirloom of disease. xx |
| xxxOnce, malformed children xx | xxxwere dashed against the rocks xx |
| xxxslay the child, spare xx | xxxyour now unburdened blood. xx |
| xxxMy chest is rivered with cracks xx | xxxmy sternum broken like xx |
| xxxan ox. My father tells me xx | xxxthat a wolf will eat xx |
| xxxtheir own young xx | xxxthose too weak to survive. xx |
| xxxThis morning, a stranger in the strip mall xx | xxxoffered blessing palms xx |
| xxxto pull this shattered bone into xx | xxxchurch’s sharp-edged mercy. xx |
| xxxThis disabled body is always product xx | xxxor vessel xx |
| xxx[of sin/for mercy]. xx | xxxAlways this body of crooked back xx |
| xxx& sidestepped gender. xx | xxxBody of apple-taker xx |
| xxx& rib-giver. xx | xxxThis body of ungiftings xx |
| xxxworth praying xx | xxxaway. xx |
torrin a. greathouse is a transgender cripple-punk and author of Wound from the Mouth of a Wound (Milkweed Editions, 2020). Their work has appeared in Ploughshares, New England Review, TriQuarterly, AGNI, and Kenyon Review. She is an MFA candidate at University of Minnesota and assistant editor of The Shallow Ends. (updated 9/2020)